Paranoia

I have always been a paranoid person. Sure, we have those moments where we're afraid we might lost an item like an earring (I constantly check my ears every few minutes to make sure my flesh tunnels are still there). But I think paranoia has taken over most of my life. Every move I make, I have at least two horrible things that can happen pass through my mind.

For example, when I'm walking or running, what if I trip and break my kneecap. I don't want to sleep and fall. Look, I'm in a car... What if we get into a car accident and my legs break? My arms?! I need those! Now we're on a plane and I'm sitting there not only going crazy because of my motion sickness, but what happens when the engine malfunctions and we crash?! Can I still use my cellphone to make the last call of my life? Whenever I walk by a gas station, I'm always afraid it will explode. When I'm in a bank, I pray there won't be any robbers. When I'm near power tools... I stand back. If there's a kitchen knife pointing at me on the table, I move it to face away from me. When I book a hotel room, I always look under the bed and hope it's not haunted by the dead body inside the mattress. Elevators. Escalators. This bus might have a suicide bomber on it. Look at that wall, it has gang tagging WE'RE IN GANG TERRITORY RUN.

Basically, I'm stuck thinking my world if a Final Destination movie. Those films do horrible things to a person and I can't kill myself either because death is SO CRUEL. WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE IN HORRIBLE WAYS.

Parents

You ever go through a time when your parents are in distress over something like the bills and they're all crazy about it? They're yelling and screaming and blaming each other and you just want to them shut up? Then there's you, sitting in the corner with a simple solution to all their problems in your head but because they think you're too young/stupid to understand what they're going through, they don't give you a chance to speak and just ignore you? Then many frustrating hours/days later they miraculously come up with an idea that was exactly like your solution but they will never know that because they never gave you the chance?

It happens to me all the time. It doesn't even work when I start screaming my ideas at them. They think I'm too naive to know anything and when they do listen, they always have some way to make my solutions useless. Then when they actually come up with the same solution themselves much later on, they don't even acknowledge that I told them in the first place.

This has actually made me very bitter about my parents and even my brother, who thinks that just because he's older and has a job, he knows more than me. I don't even want to waste my breath anymore trying to correct them. If they want me to learn from my mistakes, then they can learn from their own.

Depression That Follows Facebook Games

Have you ever started playing a game and no matter how absurd or boring other people found it, you could not stop yourself from stopping until you have completed it? The same can be said for flash games, especially ones on Facebook. You don't have to download anything and all you have to do is allow them to post unnecessary ads on your wall. They also have this beautiful leaderboard to show which of your friends are better at the game than you, which only makes you feel more competitive and spend endless hours trying to beat them. All that time staring at the computer screen when you could be doing something productive like studying or paying attention to the professor when s/he's lecturing.

Then, when it's all over, when your profile image is the highest on that pixelated ladder, you get this amazing feeling and you're feeling so smug you post it on your wall to show off- but wait! What is this? The leaderboard for all of Facebook... and you're not even in the top 9000! Guess it's time to keep playing so you can defeat all these other people.

Many sleepless weeks later...

YES YOU HAVE DONE IT. Congratulations, you have won this small fraction of the internet (for now). You're getting this extraordinary emotion as if you were the most important person in the world, as if you just conquered the universe and nothing else mattered but you and your unbelievably high score.

You suddenly pause and become shocked. You start hyperventilating. Why? You have accomplished something that no one else has before... so... why? Maybe it's because you just wasted a couple months of your life away at something that you would probably never get recognition for. What has this game done for you besides waste your electricity, impair your eyesight, and destroy your social life? It does not pay the bills or help you pass your classes. Well, it did exercise your brain and probably increased your reflexes, but that's beside the point. In reality, you have accomplished NOTHING.

Pokemon

I remember when Pokemon only went up to 151... Those were fun times. When you've caught them all in the video game, you can say you've actually caught them all. Back in elementary school, whoever could do that was like the king of the world for an ten minutes. It was a feat, especially since cheats wasn't very well known back then. After the release of the new Pokemon, it was okay. People could live with that. But then... What happened? D: Now it's just a bother now to even try and throw all those fricken pokeballs and make the trades. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY?

I'm not complaining about the new ones though; some are absolutely adorable (actually, all of them) and no one can say the games haven't gotten better. Even though they do have the same plots and absolutely useless things like contests. Who the bluck invented poffins anyway? It does nothing but waste my time.

Oh! And I recently learned that... No, I lost it. Nevermind.

So What happens when Pokemon games run out of color? Burgundy? I CANNOT WAIT FOR POKEMON PINK THOUGH.

Now, I shall take up the space and declare my love for Mewtwo.

I love that Pokemon. So what if he's a clone? D: HE IS A BEAUTIFUL CLONE THAT CAN KICK YOUR A DOUBLE SNAKES, YO. HE HAS A SOUL, UNLIKE MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN SOCIETY. HE IS INTELLECTUAL AND SOPHISTICATED, BOTH OF WHICH NONE OF THE REST OF THE WORLD CAN CLAIM TO BE.

Giving Up

There are many things in my life that I have given up in my life. So many things I have regretted not doing and oh, how they could have changed my life for the better.

First, there was the chinese school during elementary when my parents paid just so I could attend on the weekends. Unfortunately, I was more focused on watching Card Captors every Saturday morning so I started ditching and making up excuses until I just stopped going after a month. I was pretty good in class too. I could've won a trophy, could've skipped language classes in college, could've communicated with my parents better, and most importantly, could've learned the one language that separated me from more than 50% of China.

I've also given up on math. Well I did... because now I need to actually focus on it. Would you believe I was actually gifted in that subject? It was probably the one thing my mom was proud of. Then after the internet was introduced into my life... I just... stopped caring.

Then there was physics in high school. All I ever did was play Pokemon and The World Ends With You on the Nintendo DS in class because my teacher could care less about whether or not we learned anything. My GPA and transcripts really screwed itself over after I gave up learning anything after the second week. Why does my logic never seem to apply to real life?

Looking back, my life probably would have been much better if I actually stuck to these thing... Well, would've could've should've blah.

Eastern Medicine

I love tumblr. I realized that if we were allowed a choice between blogspot and tumblr for our blogging assignment, I would definitely choose the latter and spam everybody's dashboard with pictures that tell my life story.

So anyways, my mother (who dislikes western medicine and avoids doctors like the plague) gave me this little bag of crushed bark and dried leaves that I applied to my skin just to try it out, AND IT BURNED. Even after I washed it off, there was this lingering pain that just made my want to scream in frustration.

Growing up with her, I've heard horror stories about how surgeries can go wrong and doctors do unnecessary things only so they can get your money. Needless to say, I believed her and still do. Sometimes it's better off living with what you got instead of risking surgery and making things worse. I have had family members who went under the knife and would later wish they never did. Sure, if it can save someone's life, it's worth it, but if it's something that can be cured some other way that doesn't include negative aftereffects, don't go for it.

This is why I prefer eastern medicine (sans the burning pain that comes with it) because the treatments are more natural and have been used for centuries without fail. I trust it and honestly, western doctors scare me more with their needles and scalpels, slicing people open.

Also, I like the idea of yin and yang balance of the body; it sounds so philosophical and complicated.

EGGS

A picture is worth a thousand words.

So I leave you with this drawing that I have taken much time to create:

But since the professor would not like it if I just ended my blog with this, I will explain it to you.

This is a reference to the Egg Drop project we will be doing soon. The person on the top refers to you dropping the egg out of a window and the person below looking completely horrified is me, running to catch the egg with my handy frying pan.

We have five groups, each has three tries with three eggs. That totals fifteen, if we're not counting separate trials and errors that each group does on their own. FIFTEEN EGGS.

Eggs are only seventy calories each, but they are a great source of protein, vitamins and minerals! It is one of the few foods that contain choline, which if you don't get enough of, can cause liver disease and other disorders that mess up your body. Choline helps regulate your brain which, correct me if I'm wrong (which I'm sure I'm not), is necessary for learning and most of all ENGINEERING. Don't argue with me on this, I have done an entire speech and essays on why eggs are important.

You might be staring at this post like I'm crazy, but just because we have lots of eggs in the grocery stores and in your fridges, doesn't mean that everybody else in this world has it. Ever heard the saying, "THERE ARE STARVING KIDS IN AFRICA"? Sure, egg isn't good for their diet, but it's the thought that counts. You should never waste food. Not even if it's uncooked eggs. They are still going to become delicious meals... UNLESS YOU DROP THEM AND THEY CRACK AND YOU LEAVE THEM TO ROT AWAY ON THE PAVEMENT. Waste of food. Seriously.

Yes, I am against this project. Unfortunately, this is also part of my grade for the class, which I need to pass. So I'll go along with it but I will still cry myself to sleep at night.

Professors

I've probably complained about this so much that others who know me are tired of it already, but I found it necessary to once again voice some of my annoyances about professors. Not about their ways of teaching or anything, but just their emails in particular.

I rarely email professors, but when I do, I try my best to avoid spelling and grammatical errors. I spend more time proofreading the email than typing it because I don't want to make myself sound unprofessional. So I'll waste time trying to perfect an email, no matter how simple it is, just so I won't come off as a half-wit to the person in charge of my grade for the class.

Now I understand that being a teacher must make your life very busy, what with tests, homework, and essays to look through, but DEAR PROFESSOR(S), I just wish that you would take your time to write out a decent reply. I'm not asking for a paragraph or anything in-depth, but I get so insecure when all I get the next day is a "Okay" or "fine". Not all students are satisfied with that answer. It makes things worse especially when I have other questions in my email that you have failed to answer and it makes me think that you don't care.

I've spoken to many other students about this and they agree with me. We can have an entire conversation about how great a professor is simply from the fact that they replied to our email with more than one word and how they capitalize the necessary words along with inserting periods IN WHICH MANY PROFESSORS FAIL TO DO.

I believe that if teachers want their students to stop with the chatspeak and improve their writing, then they themselves should try to be a proper example. Yes, it's the internet, but I fail to think of that as a decent excuse for not using correct spelling and grammar.

How does society affect you as a person?

Society is simply a social group of humans and that is all people think of when the word is mentioned. The only problem is that society is the very thing that makes us who we are and at the very same time, ruin our identity as individuals.

The people around us influences us whether we like it or not, and the term 'unique' is loosely thrown around when used to describe somebody. Everyone wants to be a part of the crowd and be noticed. To achieve that, we allow ourselves to change our behavior and the way we think in order to be recognized by others. When someone voices their opinion and it becomes acknowledged by a larger group of people, others start thinking the same way so they wouldn't be treated as outcasts for not agreeing with something that has become generally accepted. Everything from our choices in music to fashion and even our views on the world can be altered simply by the desire to fit in. We want other people to accept us and we believe for that to happen, we need to be just like them; just like everybody else.

As we grow up, we start changing into the people we see in our daily lives, be it in school or work, and most definitely in television. The way others act become an example for us to follow as we think that what they do is right. We start believing that we should try to adjust our lifestyles and behavior to transform ourselves into them so that people would acknowledge us like they do to those we idolize. We try to become what we think is 'normal' because we don't want to be anything different that will make use rejected by members of society. In the end, we are all affected the same way and we all start changing ourselves until our society becomes a whole with no such thing as individuality.